Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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