I'm drive I can fine osifer
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
