But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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