$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
