The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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