Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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