i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
