dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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