Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
