You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
