Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
