At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
