Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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