just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.