Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?