hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.