Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
