Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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