I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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