i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
