The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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