Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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