I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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