even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
