All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize