So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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