Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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