I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Terrible idea I love it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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