I murdered the dance floor call the cops
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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