a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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