First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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