my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
