Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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