Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
