New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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