She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
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if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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