go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it because I queefed?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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