Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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