BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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