we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
high people should be assigned attendants
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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