Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
