yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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