It was confusing and full of hummus
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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