just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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