the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
