in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
