Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
