Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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