if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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