I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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