so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
