I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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