She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
