ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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