I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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