My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's official drugs can't kill me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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