there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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