I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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