Don't make out with my wife yet
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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