i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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