How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
